There is a woman at my banking job. She is my former supervisor and, up until this morning, a person who I would have also considered a close friend. We have worked together side by side, day after day, for about three years. One night several months ago I confided in her over drinks, when she was in tears about a work situation, that I had plans to return to school change careers, and hence leave work shortly. This confidence was under the strict understanding that it was only between us and not to leave the restaurant. Today, several months later this same colleague called me into her office and let me know that my boss knows that I am leaving and "she couldn't imagine how she found out," she tried to pin it on another close work friend of mine and said that "...anyways, xxxx(my boss' name) deserved to know earlier than two weeks because she had been a good boss to me and had a business to run." When I asked her if this was her decision to make, and pointed out that I had told her in confidence, she didn't say anything. She did however give me an angry, entitled, I am "doing this for the team" stare. She then more or less admitted that she had indeed let my secret leak when I revealed to her that she was the only one that knew so she could have been the only one to tell the boss (not true- but I knew saying this was the only way to get her to admit her offense). After all, our colleague who she had tried to pin it on has no relationship with my boss and would have no reason to tell her. Stupid error #1 : faulty, poorly thought out lie). Not only did this woman break my confidence, but she lied to get someone else in trouble for it (stupid error #2).
This is not the first time I've experienced similar underhanded maneuvers from women at work. It didn't really surprise me as much as disappoint; another reliable female colleague bites the dust. I did let my ex-friend, ex-supervisor know that I had caught her red handed (stupid error #3: I'd like to think that I am a good contact and good person to know, she is now permanently off my list for anything). I think she was surprised I figured it out so fast. All the color drained from her face and she had no words for the first time in her life. It is sometimes sickening how much women in their mid-thirties underestimate their younger, more attractive colleagues. Oops. Did I just say that? Yup. But really, I am unfortunately not the nitwit a lot of women would LOVE for me to be. This really pisses them off.
The story with my ex-supervisor is that she used to work under my boss and was recently demoted from the supervising position. She is now trying to get back in "good" with my boss by capitalizing on her knowledge of my leaving. This morning I caught her in a lie (stupid error #4: don't get caught, stupid). If she had been more savvy she would have just let my boss know, sworn her to secrecy to keep her name out of it, and I would never have known that she had said a word. Instead, she called me into her office and told on herself: stupid. My boss could have started looking for my replacement, had a jump start on preparing for my departure. All hunky dory. If you are going to try and play hard ball you at least better keep your bases covered. Thank God I am learning through other people's messy mistakes although hopefully I won't ever strive to capitalize on the abuse of others confidence to further my career. Tweet
